Most of us will spend the majority of our adolescent life trying to discover who we are and becoming incredibly frustrated when we still don’t fully connect with ourselves … hence the whole ‘moody teenager’ stereotype.
We have this notion from a young age that we will magically have everything figured out when we become adults, but the reality is that discovering who you are is going to take longer than the first 18 years of life. As humans, we have so many different layers to us and it is going to take a lot of exploring to understand them all.
I am now 21 and I assumed that I knew everything I could possibly know about myself but recently I have come to the conclusion that I know absolutely nothing. Sure, I know the basics like my favourite colour and what kind of foods I enjoy but there is still so much more to discover. If somebody was to say to me “what do you want from your life?” or even something as simple as “what brings you true happiness?” … I wouldn’t have a clue where to begin.
For me, starting the process of self-exploration is going to mean taking it right back to basics. I am going to start by trying out different activities that I could potentially enjoy because right now my list stretches as far as; blogging, reading and watching lots of different TV series.
I know that deep down I have far more interests than that but have never fully explored them; I haven’t even fully explored the interests listed above. I have learnt to play it safe and stuck with the basics, but I have come to the conclusion that playing is safe has had a deeply negative impact. If I am not willing to really delve in and explore new things then I am never going to discover what I truly enjoy.
Just to give you just a little idea of some of the things I’m going to give a try, I thought I would quickly list a couple.
- Baking and Cooking
- Interior Design.
I know for a lot of people this might seems incredibly basic, but for me … it is a massive step and I need to start at the right place for me. I don’t think it would be possible for me to understand other elements of myself, like my emotions, until I figure out the smaller things.
It is also completely warranted to start with those smaller things because I am in no rush; I want to take my time and ensure that I am allowing myself to really understand what I am learning. I don’t want to go through the motions of discovery and learn absolutely nothing because I haven’t given myself the time to properly explore.
When I do move on to deeper elements, I think it will be incredibly difficult but important for me to remember that I may not like every aspect of myself and that is okay. I will just need to learn to accept those elements for what they are and not try to change them to suit others because that will just make me miserable.
I do not know what my plan for after this first step will be as I am just letting the first step guide me. However, I do fully intend to share this journey with you guys and so you will see where my discoveries lead me.